Bear With Me… Maybe Even Bare With Me!…

I know I abandoned my blog for a while and even though I didn’t mean to, well… life happens. There’s been a lot going on since our last talk, deaths, tears, smiles, more deaths, some endings, some new beginnings, some career growth, and well, some issues where I’m still stuck… In any case, I’m going to give this a shot and tell you a little bit about this journey, which I’m sure some of you can identify with.

Hopefully we can share some laughs, some tears, some growth, and some fashion too!!

JenJen

It’s A Relationship!… Now What??…

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So you’ve been after this girl for years and years! You’ve worked on courtship! Flowers, dinners, movies, walks on the beach, long talks on the phone and in person! You have even gone to see chick flicks or gone out dancing even when you hate to dance! And BAM!! She has now finally said YES! Congratulations!….. Now what??…. Well, let’s say you get in a serious relationship, let’s say you even get married. You have kids and you live happily ever after! Thank God you put up with those chick flicks right? No more courtships! No more going out dancing with her and those crazy friends of her, right…. WRONG!!

 

In the heart of a woman says…. You are wrong Mister… I mean let’s face it, men aren’t generally romantic, I get it… Sometimes it’s nicer to sit at home with a beer, your girl and an action flick, yes? We get it! We really do, sometimes we like that as well… I am all for sitting with my man to have a beer and just vege out!… But you know what? Women like to feel important and special ALL the time, we need those reminders of how you’ve made us feel at the beginning, we need to feel loved and special. We like those butterflies in our stomach when you tell us how beautiful we look today!

 

I know things change, life gets hectic, work gets crazy, kids take up your time or a new job or school, a new career, a new business venture… and you feel so sure of the love you have for each other that you just trust it will be there always! But that is not the case! People start drifting apart, going with the daily routine and all of the sudden POOF! Your relationship is over! Don’t wait until then to try to salvage what you had. Work on your relationship now! Keep it strong, build the strong foundations now so that one day, it will withstand the storms!… We don’t need much. A flower here and there will tell us you still care. A compliment on how beautiful we look, on how hard we are working to get to the next level on our careers, on how hard we worked on dinner, etc… A thank you for a great dinner, for a clean house will tell us you noticed and you appreciate the effort. An out of the blue outing, will tell us you are still that adventurous awesome guy we met and fell in love with!… Now when I say outing, I don’t mean save money and take us across the world! A trip to the movies will suffice, a quick trip to grab some ice cream or a cup of coffee! We’re not difficult, we just want to know you care!…. And of course date night! Who can forget date night? Leave the problems at home and enjoy a glass of wine with your love! A stroll to the park! A walk by where you proposed!… A simple “I love you!”, “I am thankful that you are in my life”, “I thank you for being my love, my wife, my rock”… Is thank too much to ask?

 

Little things here and there will serve to keep your relationship strong. It will help build solid foundations for the stormy seasons (and believe me there will be some stormy seasons!). It will help build that strong marriage/relationship, which nowadays seems to elude us all….

What Takes Priority – Womanhood Or Motherhood? Must There Be A Choice??

I am married with children… Been married over ten years and my kids are toddlers… I am happy… Fairly happy… I mean don’t get me wrong I love my kids and I believe motherhood is the greatest blessing a woman can experience! But we can talk a little bit more about that later.

Now, what happens after? Now that the children are here and you have become so busy with life and your duties as parents, that you unintentionally stop taking care of you as a woman, or you as a man and you and him, as a couple??

Life gets hectic, you have work, kids, homework, soccer or football lessons, ballet lessons, laundry, chores, food to cook, etc, etc… When do you have time for just you? When do you have time for you and him as a couple?

I suppose you make time. How do you make time? What suffers? What do you put aside? How do you decide what doesn’t get done and furthermore, what if only one of you is trying to make time to be together as a couple and keep the flame alive? Do you try to make him or her understand you must try? That you must make that time? That you must put the gruesomeness of a very very busy day aside and gather strength to possibly have a decent conversation with your spouse and try to keep the flame alive?

Is there always a need to “make the time” and “keep the flame alive”? What if one person is content with just doing the parent thing, but not really in the mood to do the couple’s thing? Not because he or she is a mean person, but because maybe he or she is thinking marriage is marriage, it’s there forever and it’s there for better or for worse… What then?….

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