Snowballs

Life has a funny way of throwing you some curve balls… and I mean some pretty big ones… so big that sometimes they feel like snowballs coming at you from miles and miles away… by the time they get near, they are now 10 feet taller than you!

That’s how life has felt lately… You know… You’re doing your best to stay afloat, but every time you dig yourself out of one of those snowballs, the next one hits and you’re right back where you started… that’s how it’s felt for so long, and well, we have two choices! We either become pros at digging ourselves out and eventually make it completely out of the way!… or we just get buried and learn to live that way… I don’t know about you, but I rather keep digging and trying to move out of the way… …

You see, I’ve never been a believer of being a victim of circumstances. God knows there’s been plenty of events to justify drowning, I’m sure that’s true for a lot of us… and society will remind you so daily, and statistics will help us stay within that place of comfort… … In my case, let’s leave everything else aside for a minute, let’s just start with two years ago… Two years ago, my mother passed away after battling lupus for months and months… that was the biggest hit a girl can sustain I think, at least for me it was… My dad passed away 6 months later… to the day… while on vacation!… my kids lost their grandparents in what seemed like seconds… I lost my parents, we lost our family… & some people don’t know this, but yes, my marriage fell apart too… All in all, I found myself broken and feeling more than alone…

Even then, kids need their mommy, especially after so many losses… so I’d wait until I was in my bedroom alone and cry myself to sleep, I’d cry in the shower and then pull myself together every morning, I’d cry on the way back from work, and every time, I’d pull myself together to try to be the mom they deserved, go to work, keep the family afloat, and keep functioning daily… Don’t even get me started on how worthless I felt as a woman…

Little by little you lick your wounds, you go through the pain, you cry and you get mad and sad and angry… but little by little… you find yourself again… and you find the strength to keep going… I’m leaving out a lot of details on finding my way again, on death, on defeat, on marriage, on figuring it all out… but that’s too much for one post… for now, let’s just talk about becoming the pro on dodging these snowballs and not letting them bury you… because you can’t… YOU are the owner of your life, it’s your court, you can choose to defend it or you can choose to drown… its all in you!

Whether we like to admit it or not, it’s all in us! We take the hit, we dig ourselves out and we keep fighting or we choose to live buried in the snow with very little movement or choice as to where or how to move, what or who to be…

Keep digging! Keep fighting! Keep growing!!… You have the power! YOU have the strength! Don’t let life drive you… You are the driver! You and only YOU are who determines where to go, who to be, who to become!! How far to go! FOCUS!! RISE ABOVE!!… Always!!

JenJen

It’s A Relationship!… Now What??…

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So you’ve been after this girl for years and years! You’ve worked on courtship! Flowers, dinners, movies, walks on the beach, long talks on the phone and in person! You have even gone to see chick flicks or gone out dancing even when you hate to dance! And BAM!! She has now finally said YES! Congratulations!….. Now what??…. Well, let’s say you get in a serious relationship, let’s say you even get married. You have kids and you live happily ever after! Thank God you put up with those chick flicks right? No more courtships! No more going out dancing with her and those crazy friends of her, right…. WRONG!!

 

In the heart of a woman says…. You are wrong Mister… I mean let’s face it, men aren’t generally romantic, I get it… Sometimes it’s nicer to sit at home with a beer, your girl and an action flick, yes? We get it! We really do, sometimes we like that as well… I am all for sitting with my man to have a beer and just vege out!… But you know what? Women like to feel important and special ALL the time, we need those reminders of how you’ve made us feel at the beginning, we need to feel loved and special. We like those butterflies in our stomach when you tell us how beautiful we look today!

 

I know things change, life gets hectic, work gets crazy, kids take up your time or a new job or school, a new career, a new business venture… and you feel so sure of the love you have for each other that you just trust it will be there always! But that is not the case! People start drifting apart, going with the daily routine and all of the sudden POOF! Your relationship is over! Don’t wait until then to try to salvage what you had. Work on your relationship now! Keep it strong, build the strong foundations now so that one day, it will withstand the storms!… We don’t need much. A flower here and there will tell us you still care. A compliment on how beautiful we look, on how hard we are working to get to the next level on our careers, on how hard we worked on dinner, etc… A thank you for a great dinner, for a clean house will tell us you noticed and you appreciate the effort. An out of the blue outing, will tell us you are still that adventurous awesome guy we met and fell in love with!… Now when I say outing, I don’t mean save money and take us across the world! A trip to the movies will suffice, a quick trip to grab some ice cream or a cup of coffee! We’re not difficult, we just want to know you care!…. And of course date night! Who can forget date night? Leave the problems at home and enjoy a glass of wine with your love! A stroll to the park! A walk by where you proposed!… A simple “I love you!”, “I am thankful that you are in my life”, “I thank you for being my love, my wife, my rock”… Is thank too much to ask?

 

Little things here and there will serve to keep your relationship strong. It will help build solid foundations for the stormy seasons (and believe me there will be some stormy seasons!). It will help build that strong marriage/relationship, which nowadays seems to elude us all….

What Takes Priority – Womanhood Or Motherhood? Must There Be A Choice??

I am married with children… Been married over ten years and my kids are toddlers… I am happy… Fairly happy… I mean don’t get me wrong I love my kids and I believe motherhood is the greatest blessing a woman can experience! But we can talk a little bit more about that later.

Now, what happens after? Now that the children are here and you have become so busy with life and your duties as parents, that you unintentionally stop taking care of you as a woman, or you as a man and you and him, as a couple??

Life gets hectic, you have work, kids, homework, soccer or football lessons, ballet lessons, laundry, chores, food to cook, etc, etc… When do you have time for just you? When do you have time for you and him as a couple?

I suppose you make time. How do you make time? What suffers? What do you put aside? How do you decide what doesn’t get done and furthermore, what if only one of you is trying to make time to be together as a couple and keep the flame alive? Do you try to make him or her understand you must try? That you must make that time? That you must put the gruesomeness of a very very busy day aside and gather strength to possibly have a decent conversation with your spouse and try to keep the flame alive?

Is there always a need to “make the time” and “keep the flame alive”? What if one person is content with just doing the parent thing, but not really in the mood to do the couple’s thing? Not because he or she is a mean person, but because maybe he or she is thinking marriage is marriage, it’s there forever and it’s there for better or for worse… What then?….

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