Snowballs

Life has a funny way of throwing you some curve balls… and I mean some pretty big ones… so big that sometimes they feel like snowballs coming at you from miles and miles away… by the time they get near, they are now 10 feet taller than you!

That’s how life has felt lately… You know… You’re doing your best to stay afloat, but every time you dig yourself out of one of those snowballs, the next one hits and you’re right back where you started… that’s how it’s felt for so long, and well, we have two choices! We either become pros at digging ourselves out and eventually make it completely out of the way!… or we just get buried and learn to live that way… I don’t know about you, but I rather keep digging and trying to move out of the way… …

You see, I’ve never been a believer of being a victim of circumstances. God knows there’s been plenty of events to justify drowning, I’m sure that’s true for a lot of us… and society will remind you so daily, and statistics will help us stay within that place of comfort… … In my case, let’s leave everything else aside for a minute, let’s just start with two years ago… Two years ago, my mother passed away after battling lupus for months and months… that was the biggest hit a girl can sustain I think, at least for me it was… My dad passed away 6 months later… to the day… while on vacation!… my kids lost their grandparents in what seemed like seconds… I lost my parents, we lost our family… & some people don’t know this, but yes, my marriage fell apart too… All in all, I found myself broken and feeling more than alone…

Even then, kids need their mommy, especially after so many losses… so I’d wait until I was in my bedroom alone and cry myself to sleep, I’d cry in the shower and then pull myself together every morning, I’d cry on the way back from work, and every time, I’d pull myself together to try to be the mom they deserved, go to work, keep the family afloat, and keep functioning daily… Don’t even get me started on how worthless I felt as a woman…

Little by little you lick your wounds, you go through the pain, you cry and you get mad and sad and angry… but little by little… you find yourself again… and you find the strength to keep going… I’m leaving out a lot of details on finding my way again, on death, on defeat, on marriage, on figuring it all out… but that’s too much for one post… for now, let’s just talk about becoming the pro on dodging these snowballs and not letting them bury you… because you can’t… YOU are the owner of your life, it’s your court, you can choose to defend it or you can choose to drown… its all in you!

Whether we like to admit it or not, it’s all in us! We take the hit, we dig ourselves out and we keep fighting or we choose to live buried in the snow with very little movement or choice as to where or how to move, what or who to be…

Keep digging! Keep fighting! Keep growing!!… You have the power! YOU have the strength! Don’t let life drive you… You are the driver! You and only YOU are who determines where to go, who to be, who to become!! How far to go! FOCUS!! RISE ABOVE!!… Always!!

JenJen